Many of us are preparing to head out to Imaginarium Con running from Friday, September 19th through Sunday, September 21st in Louisville Kentucky at the Crowne Plaza near the airport. It is a multi-genre convention because I’m a mulit-genre kind of guy. Folks are heading out Thursday and Friday by plane, by car, and I assume since it is Kentucky that that a few will be in carriages pulled by alligators chasing a pig.
Here are the top ten things on my mind preparing for imaginarium:
10) Max Booth III and Lori Michelle of Perpetual Motion Machine mailed me three unopened package to drive across four states.
They are guests of the the convention and running a table for PMMP at the convention. They are flying in from Texas and I’m driving in from the coast in South Carolina. These strange, heavy packages showed up with a request that I drive their “books” in to the convention. I asked, “Should I open them?” Lori Michelle, if that is here real name, said, “No, I know what’s in them.” I’ve been practicing what to say when I am pulled over by the police. “They’re not mine. I’m driving them across four states for a friend.” “I was told to take them to the Louisville airport.” “I don’t consent to searches.”
9) There is a White Castle Burgers two miles from the hotel.
We were trying to hide this fact from some of the guests, but it is out now. Some of them will skip their panels and wake up the next morning after noon with a stabbing belly pain. And by them, I mean me and whoever I can talk into going with me.
Does this hashtag make my ego look fat? This joke started after I asked the question, “Is there an official hashtag that we should use for the convention?” One thing led to another as they say in court. I’m generally good with the “No Such Thing As Bad Press” principle. I’m a full-time writer with no professional ties. I can be flexible with my reputation. I see this ending in an odd combination of disappointment and “Oh, he was pretty much the D-bag I expected him to be.” This goes a bit against the concept of lowering the bar on expectations. I feel a lot of pressure to actually be awesome.
7) The Wilburn family is from Kentucky and there is a little bit of crime involved.
The first Wilburns in Kentucky were two brothers that moved there from Tennessee because one of them killed a man while the Wilburn brothers were helping slaves escape. That’s pretty honorable. A few of the members of future generations became moonshiners and horse thieves. A few of the ones alive now got a little murdery and armed-robbery. There might be some questions.
6) I usually sit behind a table the whole convention, but not this time.
I’m usually a table rep for one publisher or another. Now I’m having to walk around and be social. I can make choices, watch films, attend panels, and carry on real conversations. I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of pressure.
5) Jessica McHugh will be there and I’m considering buying Darla Decker books for my sons.
This may be my most dubious parenting decision to date and I’m decended from Kentucky Wilburns.
4) I don’t know how long a trip should last without screaming kids in the car.
How do you know when to stop the car when kids aren’t fighting or crying about needing the bathroom? I fully expect to look up just in time to realize that I’m driving into California.
3) Armand Rosamillia is moderating two of my panels.
Our conflict is the stuff of legends. I am jealous of his success and he recently discovered that I exist. He got engaged and she is coming to the convention. I have to hear the story of terrible choices that led her to this fate. These panels will be a level of insanity I’m not sure any of us are ready for. Please attend “Making the Most of Beta Readers” on Saturday at 11am and “The Zombie Horde” Saturday at 7pm. I need witnesses for both the bar stories and possibly a court appearance.
2) If Imaginarium is the greatest convention ever, the rest of my life will be a let down.
1) I have to figure out how to tone down the sexy so I don’t overshadow the entire event.
I mean, just look at me:
No, sorry, that was from another convention where things got out of control. I mean, who hasn’t been arrested naked, soaking wet, and wrapped in a duck blanket? Am I right?
No, here …
Seriously, those smouldering eyes. Let’s give some other folks a chance. Am I right?! I’ll see you at Imaginarium #JayWilburnIsAwesome