Home » Blog » “TPS Reports and Zombies” a bonus story by Jaime Johnesee #WinterZombie

Jaime Johnesee | Bob the Tacoholic | Winter of Zombie 2016

“TPS Reports and Zombies” a bonus story by Jaime Johnesee #WinterZombie

by Jaime Johnesee

She crouched in the corner of her cubicle hoping they wouldn’t see her, praying soundlessly that they couldn’t hear her heart beating over the loud cpu fan at her desk above her. They didn’t seem to be looking at anything in particular but noises and smells seemed to excite them.


She’d been sitting under her desk for a few hours when the last of them shambled away. She sat still for another hour just in case.

Never hurts to be safe. What the hell is going on? Are those actually zombies? Jesus, could Buford have called it? That’s ridiculous, right? Buford calling anything correctly is a bit of a laugh, really. But I can’t deny what I saw and that was a shambling horde of flesh rending monsters. It sounds rather cool when you say it like that but in person it was terrifying.

Holding her breath, she crawled out from under her desk and stood up. She waited for any noise or movement and relaxed slightly when none came. Maybe they’d come back, maybe they wouldn’t, but she wouldn’t be here if they did.

She took a tentative step, waiting for someone to come and tear her into little gobbets and toss her like confetti. Nobody came. She took a few more steps and then started to run. When she came to the door she backpedaled and nearly fell trying to avoid being spotted by the zombie on the other side of the glass.

It’s back was to her and she skittered back and around the corner before it could turn her way. Heart pounding, she peeked back around the corner in time to watch the zombie enter the elevator. The doors closed and a sigh of relief escaped her as she prayed that whatever floor he got off on didn’t have people waiting. She looked out the window in the office to the right of her and walked toward the sight of zombies eating her coworkers. Those partially eaten came back to life and joined the hunt.

Cars were littered across the parking lot as some had crashed and been left abandoned. Whatever was going on the TV shows and movies she’d grown up with didn’t do a thing to prepare her for it. She was still marveling the horror she’d been thrust into when the creature entered the room behind her.

She heard its shuffling steps on the carpet behind her and whirled, just in time to avoid being grabbed and bitten. It snarled and reached for her and she sidestepped the zombie and lurched out of the door, closing it behind her. The ambulatory corpse pounded its fists against the glass door and howled in frustration.

Okay. It’s going to be okay. I’m going to get out of here. I just need to figure out how.

She took a quick walk around her floor and aside from the zombie trapped in the office she’d seen no sign of the undead. The parking lot had fewer bodies altogether and she could see her car was undamaged. She’d have no problem getting her Jeep out of there and back home. It was getting to the car that was difficult.

She wasn’t ready to die but she didn’t want to take the chance during the night when there might be zombies she couldn’t see lurking in the shadows. She took a deep breath, pulled her car keys from her sweater pocket and ran for her car.

She’d reached out and touched the driver’s side quarter panel when one of the things tackled her. Its snapping jaws were inches from her face but she held it off. She waited for a chance to grab the upper hand but it didn’t come.

After two minutes of holding back the biting zombie she began to falter and it grew harder and harder to hold the thing at bay. Before too long its teeth were rending through her flesh. Blood welled and spilled along with her tears.

I failed my kids and now they won’t have a mom to protect and guide them anymore. Oh, please, God. Please, I’m hungry. So very hungry. Must find food. Food.



Jaime Johnesee lives in Michigan with her husband and two sons. She spent fourteen years as a zookeeper before shifting her focus to writing full time. Known for her bestselling horror comedy series, Bob the Zombie, she is also currently authoring the paranormal horror series, Samantha Reece Mysteries, for Devil Dog Press.

You can find more about Jaime at www.JaimeJohnesee.com, https://www.amazon.com/Jaime-Johnesee/e/B007P5CLDW/, as well as on Facebook, Twitter, and G+.


Jay Wilburn - Dead Song Legend Series

Jay Wilburn on FacebookJay Wilburn on InstagramJay Wilburn on TwitterJay Wilburn on Youtube
Jay Wilburn
Jay Wilburn has a Masters Degree in Education that goes mostly unused since he quit teaching to write about zombies. Jay writes horror because he tends to find the light by facing down the darkness. He finds the journey through life easier by having you join him. Jay is the author of 2 series: The Dead Song Legend and The Great Interruption. He cowrote The Enemy Held Near with Armand Rosamilia. You can also find Jay's work in Best Horror of the Year volume 5 and Dark Moon Digest. Each year Jay has the pleasure of featuring many great authors in the genre through the Summer and Winter of Zombie blog tours on his website.

Jay's Patreon Page | Purchase Signed Copies of Books

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.